I felt that a general theme for me during Conference was to really focus on the important things. Obviously on my mission, that is easier than maybe after, but it still is hard. And I TRULY believe that this experience is preparing me for the future, especially in being prepared to prioritize my life and strive to do what the Lord wants of me. I thought about putting the Lord first in everything, about always reading the Book of Mormon (forever. I'm serious, I never want to go a day again without reading in the Book of Mormon. It's important. If you didn't get that vibe from conference, watch it again), preparing and being a good mother, learning to be guided by the Spirit (a frustrating process as you will see later), learning to understand the Atonement more and more etc etc... I understand more and more everyday how this experience as a missionary is preparing me to be a Wife and mother someday. I want to be a great Mom. My Mom is the best, so hopefully if I just inherited all of her great qualities I will be just fine. It really was an amazing conference and, watching it with missionary eyes, I felt like a lot of it could have been geared for non members. It's amazing how many people are fascinated by who we are. I mean, it's not SUPER amazing if you understand that the Book of Mormon is true and prophesied of this thousands of years ago... The Book of Mormon is true. I love it. I love that my fam is reading it until I come home! Way to go everyone. You rock. I loved the "waiting on the Lord" talk too. (Court... of course you did :) I just really appreciated so many of the messages and am so grateful that we know we have a prophet. It was funny, after conference, we went out to Westwood (a little city-ish place in our area) where everyone is just hustling bustling around and I thought "None of those people know..." and that is really sad. WE GOTTA TELL THEM!
I wish I had something miraculous to report on. Nothing really has changed very much. Finding, finding and finding.
You hear about stories where missionaries felt the Spirit tell them something like "Knock on THAT door" or "the next house we knock will be a new investigator" or things like that. I felt so strongly for a while that we should visit this family from the Potentials in the Area Book. Their name literally has been on my mind since I moved into the area and saw their name in the book. We tried several times, they were never home. One time, we talked to their housekeeper and she let us use the bathroom and I saw a picture of the family and I thought "that is a family that will join the church someday". We didn't go back for a really long time and then a few days ago, I felt strongly to visit them again. So yesterday, we went. A woman answered the door who didn't look like the woman in the family pictures I had seen, and she said "We are atheist" and quickly shut the door. It kind of broke my heart. But maybe they moved, and they will still be baptized. And I will see them in the afterlife and say "YOU! I KNEW YOU WOULD GET BAPTIZED!" Sometimes I really do wonder if I am able to pray and receive answers. I mean, I hate to even say that because I KNOW I can because I have received answers for things before my mission ( I mean obviously I am here, that was a BIG answer to get) but on my mission I feel like I have tried to listen to the Spirit to find the elect. I know that we have in the past, that there have been people guided to us or us to them, but right now it doesn't seem to be happening. I know it is Satan getting me discouraged, but when you feel something that you THINK is the spirit prompt you to do something, and then it doesn't even feel at all what you thought it would, you begin to wonder. I think this has been the hardest month or so of my mission. I know it is good, I know we can improve, I know there are people out there. I am just struggling to know how we can receive the revelation we need to find them.
Conference really helped me in so many ways. I love the Lord. So much. And I love being a missionary. When person after person says "No", I really do think about the Savior. I think my perspective has changed from being sad that they rejected ME to being sad they rejected an opportunity to know our Savior. And that is WAY more sad than them rejecting me. It is sometimes hard to see the work we are doing being anything productive.
Granny G is still really struggling, but I think she is better than before. We finally got to see her yesterday and it was actually a huge miracle and answer to a prayer. (See I DO know, but its just hard to recognize sometimes!) But she did watch conference a little which is great. Hopefully she will come to the recent convert meeting at stake conference next week.
Bro Simpson is sort-of progressing. He came to church and watched a bit of conference, but he still just won't open the doors... Hopefully soon.
I think that is all. Sis Pinto-bean and I are doing great, learning, truckin along, practicing English, boosting each other up when one of us is discouraged.
I'm sorry that my e-mails have been slightly grim, just bein
I love you all. Thank you for the encouragement, the e-mails, the letters, the goodies, the prayers. You are all wonderful!! I'm the luckiest.
I know this is the true Gospel of Jesus Christ. With everything that I am.
Sista Brink
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